The Father hitting a flock of birds (metaphorically, teehee) with 2 stones from Matthew 14:22-36 and 15:1-20. All of my questions and lessons that I have to relearn at this very moment answered in 2 stories. I have been praying (and grumbling) to God about a lot of things that have gone wrong lately and instead of actively seeking Him by fighting for my quiet time and putting His word and commandments into my heart, I took things in my own hands and ventured into a sojourn of doubts and disobedience. From time to time, I did manage to find time to talk to Him and read His word but in retrospect, I was acting more like I was God and telling Him what I wanted to happen, instead of giving up control and trusting His ways. Time and again, a Singapore-haze-like cloud which was my pride, blurs my understanding which made me more confused and rebellious.
Tonight's quiet time proved that God actively pursues His children who may have lost their way temporarily and those who are yet to find Him. I am truly blessed to have known Him and accepted Him as my God and savior. Because of this, I learned how to forgive and be less critical with myself and also to seek forgiveness (which is my number 1 agenda tomorrow) and be forgiving to others (especially those who matter like family and friends whom I am more likely to hurt and vice versa).
I understand that my slip is far from over. That this is just the beginning of a long pruning process. I still am praying for faith to believe and trust in Him and the best thing about our God, no matter how often we doubt and hurt Him, He never runs out of love and understanding.
