Heartfelt Thank You

for making me realize that there is strength in picking up the pieces and moving on.

For showing me what my "non-negotiables" are, everything I hated about you.

For treating me like how I don't want my future husband to treat me ever. Thank you for this lesson.

For pointing out my flaws as well and making me think of whether to change them or looking for someone who can love all of them.

For changing from good to whatever. It grounded me and snapped me back to the reality: things that are not really good will become stale and old in the long run.

For hurting me in unimaginable ways, because it made me one with the old adage: It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Life goals

"When you find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stand in front of you when other’s cast stones, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who will hold your hand when you're sick, who thinks you're pretty without makeup, the one who turns to his friends and say, ‘that’s her’, the one that would bear your rejection because losing you means losing his will to live, who kisses you when you screw up, watches the stars and names one for you and will hold and rock that baby for hours so you can sleep...you marry him all over again."

- Shannon Adler (from goodreads.com)

Fight or Let Go?

Stuck in between believing that something is worth fighting for and cutting my losses and just let go.

Do I have still have something to fight for? Am I just wasting our time and energy? Are we still in it for the long haul?

Did he move on? Am I willing to, if he did? Do I still try to find out if it's worth the effort?

Will I still trust? How long until I heal?

Message in a Bottle

I know you're out there somewhere and we've never met but I'm pretty sure we will, someday.

Looking forward to that day, when I am finally happy and when I finally found myself and my place in the world.

To the day when I am ready to tell you "I love you" without worrying if you'll say it back or if you even feel the same way because I am that secure. And I won't be afraid of hurts that love can give.

When I am finally ready to feel and risk and take. Prepared, for whoever you'll turn out to be. Prepared to be worthy of you as you are of me.

For now, I'll work on my way to "happy". So that I will be radiant when we meet. And you can't help but bask in my happiness, as well.